Wednesday, April 15, 2015

The Tale of Bai Chu the Bloodthirsty


Hundreds of years ago, there lived an infamous Commander General named Bai Chu. Bai Chu was feared by enemies and friends alike, for he was a fierce and ruthless leader, and he inspired the utmost dread in those who would oppose him. Incredibly ambitious, he hungered for power and plotted to take over the world with his army of fearless warriors. Tales of how Bai Chu would behead his foes and drink blood from their still-beating hearts were especially terrifying, and mothers would tell them to frighten disobedient children. “If you are bad, Bai Chu will come for you in the night!” they would caution a wide-eyed child.

One dark and stormy evening, in unexplored forested lands of Calinan after a bloody battle, Bai Chu lay restless in his tent. While devising plans to gain more strength and conquer more nations, he thought he heard mournful voices outside. Instantly alert, he quickly came out to investigate, and very soon he was lost in a huge forest where the very trees seemed to whisper in the wind. Suddenly, an old lady appeared in front of him.

“Help me, O great warrior, for I hunger so”, she croaked. Bai Chu scoffed and raised his weapon in anger! “Fool crone! Know you not who I am? I am Bai Chu the bloodthirsty, the long-lived, the mighty! I will put you out of your misery!” But before he could lower his weapon to take her head, the old woman vanished, the wind seemed to beat and howl, and in her place a beautiful diwata appeared. She spoke with the voice of the wind:

“O Bai Chu, in your arrogant pride you have become so small. From this day forth, I curse you to hunger, to be insignificant and ignored!

Bai Chu the bloodthirsty: I make you a blood drinker.
Bai Chu the long-lived: I make you immortal.
Bai Chu the mighty: I make you smaller than a tiny child’s plaything!

The spell shall only be broken when your heart becomes true. It is done!”


And that is how Bai Chu the Bloodthirsty became the cutest, smallest vampire to ever exist. He refers to everyone he meets as his Dark Minions. As he is too small to really drink a large human’s blood, he subsists on blood oranges, which he finds are surprisingly delicious. It is not uncommon to find blood oranges near him, with two tiny tell-tale teeth marks. Bai Chu is still quite fearless, and likes to run at his enemies ferociously screaming his own name: “Bai Chu! Bai Chu! Bai Chu!” From a distance, it sounds like a small voice is yelling “Biteyoubiteyoubiteyou!” from somewhere around your ankles.


Character Information:

Bai Chu: (Bite You)
Talisman: “I Hunger!”
Height: 5 1/2" inches
Material: Resin Body and Magnet
Edition Quantity: 35pcs

The miniscule vampire stands approximately 5 ½” tall (you may need to stoop down quite low to hear him shouting “Biteyoubiteyoubiteyou!”as he is very very small). He is cursed with a rigid resin body emulating the smooth vampiric skin of his kind, and a neodymium magnet that pulls him towards your refrigerator (an indignity Bai Chu will probably never forgive you for).

His magnetic restraining talisman with the words “I Hunger” written in beautiful Chinese calligraphy is removable, and you may need to reattach it should Bai Chu prove too much to handle!

Will you be Bai Chu's jailer, or his accomplice? Will you try to change his wicked ways, or help him achieve world domination? Whatever you choose, you better have some blood oranges ready before he comes home with you. Stay tuned for the mighty Bai Chu's announcement!

1 comment:

  1. Is this supposed to be scary? Coz I find it too adorable :D

    Eleigh
    http://www.misseleighneux.com

    ReplyDelete